We demand freedom from God. And we even deny His existence. We stand tall and raise our trophies of our treasured free will.
But the moment we hear news of another innocent, precious child being molested. Or we hear about a violent rape or murder, or a family member continues to self destruct with alcohol and drugs. Or we see pictures of children from all over the world starving with bloated bellies and sad, empty eyes, we immediately blame God. We shake our fists and demand, “How could a loving God allow this to happen!”
We actually have the audacity to use the results of human evil as proof that there is no God. It is the ultimate inconsistency of logic.
It would make more sense that if people deny God and His goodness that they take full responsibility for the results of what happens, including human corruption and abuse. God didn’t molest that child. God didn’t make someone drink and drive. God didn’t make people cheat on their spouses, or make people hate one another. God didn’t pollute the earth or make pornography and put it all over the internet and create addicts. And God didn’t make heroin, crack, or any illegal drugs, and He certainly didn’t make children starve. These tragedies are the direct results of the abuse of our beloved free will.
In fact, because He loves us, He told us in His word not to do those things. But then again, how can we listen to His wisdom if we deny He even exists.
I remember the pain of when I first started processing my childhood trauma. I was reeling from the results of someone else’s abuse of free will, but inside my heart, unconsciously, I had been holding God accountable for what happened to me. Why didn’t you stop it, Lord? If you are truly all powerful and all knowing, you could have done something to help me. If you truly loved me, why didn’t you help me? It was only through prayer and truly seeking the Lord that these buried questions made their way to the surface. I was broken hearted for the child that I was. And I was angry at what I did to destroy myself as a result.
It was in the middle of that pain that I realized something very important about God and free will. He gave us free will, and because of that free will, some people will abuse it and children will be hurt. No wonder why God sent Jesus. We only need to imagine our own children being abused to realize why the world needed a Savior and Healer for both victims and perpetrators. As I asked God to help me obey Him and forgive the sins against me, He brought me into a place of seeing things through His eyes. I saw how these actions deserved Hell, and it scared me. Through the Father’s eyes, I became broken and desperate for the souls of my perpetrators. These were His children, too. His grace gave me the love I needed to pray for them. And through that supernatural process of forgiveness, the bonds of abuse were broken. And I was spiritually free. I know why Jesus calls us to forgive our enemies; it heals and liberates us.
Forgiveness not only freed me from the tie of my wounders, it allowed me to see my own sin more clearly. Before I released my right to punish to God, I had an invisible scale which weighed my sins against the sins of “the really sinful people” in the world. You know, child molesters, murderers, rapists, drug dealers, swindlers. I walked around with an entitlement and attitude of You have no right to judge me. Do you know what I’ve been through? Of course, I wasn’t aware of this attitude; it was underneath the pain that drove my self destruction.
But to Jesus, there is no sliding scale. All sin is the same, and God won’t allow any sin in Heaven. None of it will be allowed to corrupt Heaven. We all need the same savior. Wow. That was a humbling aha! moment for me. My pride was revealed to me, and I thank God His love creates such a warm, safe place to be humbled. I see why pride is the most detestable thing to God; it blocks us from his love and healing, and it keeps us from being helped by Him. He doesn’t need me to confess so He can be appeased. He isn’t a tyrant. He knows we need His love and forgiveness to heal, and if we don’t see our sin, we can’t access the freedom He died to give us.
I’m so thankful that one beautiful day, all things will be set right forever. Praise God.
Until then, may Jesus heal you completely.
“Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.” Galations 6:7,8