Thank you for your kind messages of support. I’m sorry if I don’t respond right away to your blog comments, texts, voicemails, and emails. Please know that every word you write to me or say in a voicemail means the world to me. There’s nothing like the comfort of friends. I’m so very blessed by you. Thanks to some angel friends of mine for the dinner last night and for coordinating meals for the next few days. I’m humbled by your generosity.
Many of you have asked how I’m doing. I’m straddling two worlds right now. One world is filled with everything good and my mom is still alive. But then I remember she’s gone and I’m instantly in the other world where nothing is good. There’s very little space between. One moment I’m laughing with my dad and family as we tell our funny stories and eat the wonderful food my friends brought over. And then I remember my mom isn’t here with us and she’s never going to be with us again, and all of a sudden I’m grieving every moment I’ll never have with her. I watch my kids playing around with their uncle knowing they’ll be crying in my arms at any moment.The sadness rushes in so fast we can’t brace for it.
How does it feel to lose my mom? It’s like being held under water longer than I could possibly survive, but somehow I’m still living.
Please pray for more space in between worlds. God’s grace is sufficient. Although at times, it seems barely. Even though I can’t hear her voice or see her body, I do feel strangely closer to her.
Thank you for sharing your stories with me. Many of you have walked where I am right now, and your encouragement is just what I need. I know the suffering won’t kill me, but it feels like it will. To know that you’ve come through it helps me tremendously.
I’ll keep you posted about my mom’s memorial services. Thank you for asking. We’ll be helping my dad make all those decisions tomorrow.
I have so many blessings to tell you about. At some point I’ll share them with you.
Thank you again for all your support.
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“He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning
or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” Revelation 21:4
That is what happens…you face the crisis and do what you need to do..and then the memories flood in and it saddens you….Eventually the memories will sustain you and though you will miss her terribly the memories will then bring you joy….Knowing not what heaven is like precisely..I chat with my mother still sometimes….and like to think she can hear me….Diane
Lori, I’m so glad you have a strong network of family and friends to support you there at home. Thanks for keeping us updated. Much love…
God Bless You…we are all here for you in spirit. Thanks for updating us…Your Mom was a beautiful woman in her picture…thanks for including her…sending you strength…xo
(hugs you). It’s a really difficult time to go through. I’m glad you have so many people around who love you to carry you though. xx
There is a lot to do with a funeral. Encourage your dad to plan it as he needs to and not to feel like he has to “get it all done” within a week or even two weeks. It is nice to be able to plan ahead and allow for family to make it, etc. I also know some people need to have that closure right away and want it right away. So, just praying God will open up the doors for the timing and details of everything and that your Dad will see glimpses of God providing for him ahead of time, in ways only God can arrange.
I’m glad to see you on here. I’m glad you have such a great support system. I like that you feel very close to your mom now more than ever. You’ll see her again. When I get up there, introduce me to her, ok?
I can’t say any more than what has been said. We are all here for you and God is beside you comforting and giving you strength, He understands your pain.
Silently I followed your posts ever since your mom was diagnosed with brain cancer, I silently, unknowingly that I was crying or at least holding myself together. Thank you for the posts, it made me realized how much I love my mom so much even though there’s a lot of flaws right now here at home. I am glad you’re moving forward positively.
Thank you for stopping by & reading my blog. I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine what you are going through. Know that today I will be praying that God comforts you as only He truly can.