Thank you, Robin for the inspiration for this post.
Why do I blog?
I sat in front of my doctor and admitted I was feeling suicidal. It was my very first appointment with him and I was falling apart right in front of him. I was too much of a mess to be embarrassed. My therapist was adamant that I needed depression medication so I could sort through all my childhood trauma that was busting through the door of my psyche. I was exhausted and needed sleep medication because nightmares tormented me and I couldn’t sleep. I needed anti-anxiety medication because the panic attacks were coming so fast and I didn’t know how to handle them. I might add that I didn’t even know what a panic attack was – I just thought I was dying. I would lock my bedroom door as I screamed into a pillow in my closet so my children couldn’t hear me. I thought I was losing my mind. The worst part is no one could join me in the battle that raged in my mind. I was powerless to stop my 20 year eating disorder, Lord knows I tried. I was alone and completely defenseless from my unraveling life. I was paranoid, in excruciating pain, and totally hopeless. My trauma bill came due, and I was paying with the nothing I had. This is what buried childhood trauma did to a thirty-something wife and mother of two: PTSD, major depression, and addiction.
I knew only one thing for sure. I couldn’t hold on any longer. And if someone didn’t save me, I was going to die. Some of us have been wounded so deeply we need a team of people to help us heal properly. And some of us need a savior. I know I did.
It was the turning point in my life. It was the end of life as I knew it. And it was the beginning of what I never dreamed could be possible for me.
That was me almost 7 years ago. And I cry at the thought of someone else going through that horrific pain I felt. But statistics tell me there are people who are entering that battle right now, and I’m passionate about reaching them. I know the path ahead of them is steep. It’s hard work to heal, and it can feel dangerous at times. But the mountain of trauma is conquerable, and the fight is more than worth it. We can heal from anything.
God has done miracles in my life. He’s completely healed from my eating disorder, it’s been years and years since I had a panic attack, and the nightmares have stopped. I’ve processed enormous amounts of trauma, and I enjoy a full life of recovery…It’s not a perfect life. But it’s a life of freedom and incredible joy. I want to tell people there is freedom from hell on earth.
This is why I blog.
Your turn, please. Will you share with me why YOU blog?
Thank you for sharing your tesimony with us. It touched my heart. We blog for the same reason, we don’t want people to have to suffer with the paib and as long with it , wewant to encourage the reader to seek Christ for He is the answer to our problems. And the are time I have to seek Wise Counsel and it’s not a weakness to ask for help.Thank for your blog,
In Christ
Bart
Thank you, Bart. I appreciate you making the point about how asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness. I completely agree, and in fact, I know that I lost many, many years of a good life because I didn’t ask for help.
Blessings to you…
I will pray that God will Bless Your blog also .Bart
Thank you…prayer is so powerful, and I appreciate you thinking of me.
To meet wonderful people like you
x
Awww. How sweet, Bourbon. I’m glad we’re connected.
You are an inspiration which is why I’m so happy to comment on this post with this award. Hugs to you! I blog because, like you, I want to share my experiences so that someone can find something inspirational to make their lives brighter! xo
http://misifusa.wordpress.com/2012/12/10/sisterhood-of-the-world-bloggers-award/
Oh my goodness. What a blessing. Anything having to do with sisterhood deeply reaches my heart. We women are so powerfully good when we point our energy in the right direction, and I’m blessed that you’d award me like this. As soon as I figure out how to follow the instructions (:/), I will be sure to do so.
Thank you for always sharing your heart with me. I appreciate your openness.
I agree wholeheartedly that together, connected, we can move mountains, inspire others and bond together! So happy that we have connected! Congrats again to you! xo
I’m so glad we connected, too. Yes, we can move those mountains together. And that’s exactly what we’re doing right now. Thank you…
Our stories are so similar…I, too, want others to know there is hope when you are too exhausted to run from your trauma anymore. When the fear of not changing anything becomes worse than the fear of change, there are others who can help one baby step at a time.
I wish I’d had a blog like yours as a resource when I started my journey of recovery. Blogs can’t replace professional help when you need it, but this community is incredibly encouraging, loving and compassionate!
Denise, I love how you wrote, “When the fear of not changing anything becomes worse than the fear of change, there are others who can help one baby step at a time.” It’s so true.
As I continue the journey of recovery (you know how it never ends, it just goes deeper), you and your blog are always a source of strength and encouragement to me. I draw a lot of courage from you, my friend. And I’m thankful every day for the wonderful community, including and especially YOU.
Yes, I would have also loved having this community available when I jumped off the cliff and faced all my stuff. I suppose it just makes the work more urgent for me. I’m sure it just adds to your passion, too.
Awesome! I blog to help hurting people find healing in God, to help them mature in their faith. I am not the holy spirit, but I can throw seeds out there to someone who may be struggling. I would like to be part of the solution. To make the world a better place when I leave. Your post is gripping. I’m so glad you better!
Hi, Lisa. You DO make the world a better place. Your story of personal transformation is a wonderful beacon of light and hope. You are accomplishing everything you said was important in your blog. I know you’ve been that for me.
Yes, we’re aren’t the Holy Spirit, and that’s a great reminder. It’s easy to feel like we’re the solution, but we’re simply the messengers.
Thank you for your comment, and for blogging.
You are a light. Thank you for opening yourself and sharing. You DO make a difference. I am so glad that you found your way to help and that your life now includes a sense of freedom and joy. I blog to feel alive, to celebrate all I have to be grateful for, to release my hungry creative spirit. And, to connect with kindred spirits like you.
Thanks, Vicki. Your blog mission is clear.
I really like ‘to release my hungry creative spirit.’ I’ve not heard it put that way before.
Thank you for sharing your story, I am sorry that you have gone through so much. Through your compassion for others I am sure you are encouraging to others as they read your blog. One of the many things I like about blogging is the community of writers – we all support each other as well as sharing in our joys. God bless you -
Well put. Thank you. I do hope others find encouragement through my words.
Your honesty makes it easier for me not to hide my struggle. I blog hoping that something in my experience and pain will make it easier for someone else to respond better when they see someone in an abusive situation. The unexpected perk of blogging is the wisdom shared and support given. I honestly have no better source of support and inspiration in my life right now. A lifeline.
Yes, it does make it easier to share when others are honest. And that’s exactly what YOU so through your blog. Collectively we hold a treasury of wisdom. But it’s wasted if we hide in shame and secrecy. Hugs to you.
Jumpingonclouds,
Thank you for being here for others who need help in our rough world! My reason for blogging isn’t as urgent. I try to light a candle for the Lord through creative work like poetry and stories. God bless you, Sister!
Maria
I love that – ‘lighting a candle’. That’s a beautiful picture of what you do. Thanks for your comment, my new blog friend.
Thank you and blessings to you as you continue to be healed (PTL) and to help others with a Divine Safety Net!
Ah! ‘ Devine safety net’ – you have a gift with words for sure. Thanks for the beautiful imagery.
Thanks for sharing this, I’m sorry you went through so much but very glad that you’ve made so much progress! I blog because I wanted somewhere where I could write and be myself, and since starting blogging I have met so many amazing people, which makes me want to blog even more
Xx
Thanks for being a beautiful soul and contribution to the world. To answer your question, I blog because I love to write, socialize, learn and be exposed to other points of view, I want to share my story, my journey, my love, tears, fears and joys. I also want to help other writers reach their goals if I can, and inspire others to continue living and pursuing their dreams after devastating loss. One love.
I love the reasons why you blog. I remember the first time I read your blog. I was in tears and I just wanted to hug you. You are an inspiration to me, and I draw strength from your perseverance. Thank you for your kind words.